How Alcohol and Codependency Go Together

Many people misunderstand codependency, often thinking it only applies to people in toxic or abusive relationships. I used to think the same until I stopped drinking and started noticing how certain patterns and behaviors were still showing up in my life. Even without alcohol, I realized I was still reacting to situations in ways that didn’t serve me—ways that I developed long ago, largely without realizing it.

Codependency is about more than just being overly reliant on others; it’s a pattern of behaviors and emotional responses often developed as a result of growing up in environments where addiction, emotional neglect, or other dysfunctions were present. For me, the roots of codependency became clearer once I began reflecting on my upbringing and relationships, especially with parents who may have struggled with their own issues, like alcohol. This dynamic subtly shapes how we respond to stress, handle emotions, and form attachments.

The Importance of Self-Awareness

The first step to breaking free from codependent tendencies is becoming aware of them. Many of us walk through life unaware of how deeply ingrained these habits are, thinking they’re normal or just how relationships should work. But once you become aware, you start to see how much of your emotional energy goes into trying to control situations or manage other people’s feelings, often at the expense of your own well-being.

I often work with individuals who, like myself, have started this journey and realize they’ve been living with codependency for years without knowing it. This self-awareness becomes a powerful catalyst for change, especially when you recognize these traits not only in romantic relationships but in friendships, family dynamics, and even work environments.

Common Characteristics of Codependency:

1. Overly focusing on others – Constantly putting the needs of others above your own, often to the detriment of your mental and emotional health.

2. Difficulty setting boundaries – Struggling to say no or set healthy limits, leading to feelings of being overwhelmed or resentful.

3. Fear of abandonment – A deep fear that someone will leave you or that you will be rejected, often leading to people-pleasing behaviors.

4. Low self-esteem – A lack of confidence or self-worth, frequently seeking validation or approval from others.

5. Caretaking – Taking on responsibility for solving other people’s problems or managing their emotions, sometimes even feeling guilty when you can’t.

6. Perfectionism and control – A need to control situations, others, or outcomes to feel safe or valuable.

How I Can Help

As someone who’s been through this process of discovery, I know how confusing and challenging it can be to confront these patterns. My approach is to offer a safe, non-judgmental space where you can start to explore these dynamics, without having to label yourself or your past. You don’t have to identify as ‘codependent’ to begin questioning how your behaviors impact your relationships or emotional health.

Through my coaching, I help people:

• Identify and understand the roots of their codependency.

• Learn how to set healthy boundaries and focus on self-care.

• Build confidence and independence without feeling guilty or selfish.

• Work through emotional triggers and stop being reactive to others’ behaviors.

Becoming aware of codependent patterns is the first step in reclaiming your emotional health and creating healthier, more balanced relationships. You’re not alone in this, and with the right support, change is possible.